With the end of 2014 in sight, you may well be thinking about doing some things differently come the New Year. You’re feeling an incentive to start again, having left the old year behind. Inspired to set new ways of being into motion. Me too! This year, of course things ARE going to be different …at least until the end of January.
So here’s the rub, you EXPECT that things will turn out as you wish them to. However, expectations have a nasty habit of setting up a desire or a wish, only to have them peter out or dashed, out right. Crumpled you find yourself turning inwards, berating yourself for failing once again. In this post I look at how you can use your expectations as a positive partner – as a way of supporting you to move to where you want to be.
Expectations help you to take a virtual step forward, giving you an imagined sense of how things will be, even with something completely new. They give you the ability to create a vision of life to come and because it hasn’t happened yet, you can imagine all sorts of possibilities.
Even better, they are able to ‘sneak’ past your inner censure or critic – at least whilst you’re in dream mode. Experience hasn’t jumped in to tell you how impossible your dreams are, nor your fear to add in to the mix all sorts of risk – to deliver you a double cocktail of negativity.
However, expectations are false friends when they set you up to fail by:
- Keeping you from living your dreams, because once shattered you can say to yourself ‘told you so for being so bold’
- Narrowing down your possibilities – as there’s only one outcome in the frame
- Creating limitation not just a means to an end
- Giving you worrying scenarios about what’s going to happen
- Being based on emerging experience as opposed to evolving reality
On the other hand, they are true friends and supportive partners when they:
- Open up possibilities, helping you to see beyond how things have always been
- Give you a specific future i.e. dreams and a vision to aim at
- Make you feel safe – if you can imagine something being different then you can make it happen
- Settle you, by helping you to by-pass worrying how things might be
- Create order for you, by providing a sequence of what to do next
- Let your past selves guide, you based on experience – and here I mean helping you to avoid things that you know from experience haven’t worked before
A last thought. When you create your supportive expectations, make them ‘Great Expectations’ – not so that you can fall flat on your face big style, but so that you you put your energy into something really worthwhile.
Over to you…what Great Expectations do you currently have or are thinking about for next year? Be great if you would like to share, by leaving a Comment in the box below 🙂